You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
