What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
