I need help removing her.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is the prime rib incident all over again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
