At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
