she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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