So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
