I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
