Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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