no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Threesome in a minivan. New low
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i've created a new STD.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
