good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
