Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
