My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
