you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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