we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
