How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
