STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
