I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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