Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
