Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
