you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
