So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
