Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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