I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Screwed.edu
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
