This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
