Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
