The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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