Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
