we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
