They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
