I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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