her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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