Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
