If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
