I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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