just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
