every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
