i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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