We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
