I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
