someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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