And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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