So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
