So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize