Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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