We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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