that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
