Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
