I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
