Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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