I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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