We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
