tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
