So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
