when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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