Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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