GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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