Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
