Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
