I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
