Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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