either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
