seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
