He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
