Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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