I wish life had little blips of pornography
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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