respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
