hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
