To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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