So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
